Tayster's Top Twelve...

Cover Songs That Are As Good...If Not Better Than...The Original

2008-10-16T08:11:00.003-06:00

I love cover tunes. Any time an artist or group decides to redo a song as a tribute to the original artist or group, it's awesome.

In my years of collecting, I have found some really good covers and I've heard some extremely painful covers.

Today, by request of my sister-in-law, Erin, I am going to list my Top 12 All-time favorite covers.

Basically there is one simple rule (in my opinion) for a great cover:

Does the artist covering the song, make it his/her own without totally losing the feeling behind the original?

Having said that, I now present Cover Songs That Are As Good...If Not Better Than...the Original.

(In No Particular Order)

1. Common People (Original by Pulp, covered by William Shatner)
Pulp's version of the song is great. I listen to it quite a bit, in fact. Having said that, I don't think that there is a finer cover out there than Shatner's rendition of this song. It's bloody near perfect in execution and Shatner makes it his own, at the same time, not changing it so much that it can't be recognized from the original.

2. Sweet Child O' Mine (Original by Guns 'n Roses, covered by Luna)

Luna slowed the song down a bit, but it's very recognizable as the classic from G-N-R. This is one of those songs that I pop into the CD player when I need to just relax.

3. Angie (Original by the Rolling Stones, covered by La Ley)

La Ley is a group from Chile. I heard this song on the radio one day while I was down in that country and I knew the lyrics, but couldn't figure out what song it was. I don't know if these guys did the song simply by phonics, but either way, I think it's impressive.

4. The Bare Necessities (Original by Baloo the Bear on Disney's Jungle Book, covered by Harry Connick, Jr.)

I'm sorry, but this is the way this song was meant to be sung...and I LOVE this song as sung by Baloo.

5. Come As You Are (Original by Nirvana, covered by The King)

James Brown is a postal worker from Belfast. He also sounds a lot like Elvis Presley. His version of Nirvana's classic is done exactly the way Elvis would do it, if he were still alive.

6. Hurt (Original by Nine Inch Nails, covered by Johnny Cash)

Nine Inch Nail brainchild, Trent Reznor, said the following about Cash's cover: "Immediately my throat had a lump in it, and at that point, it really struck home. It was heartbreaking. I had goosebumps, which I have right now even thinking about it. It became really inspiring to me. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would write a song that Johnny Cash wanted to sing. I haven't listened to my version since then."

7. Little Green Bag (Original by The George Baker Selection, covered by Tom Jones & Barenaked Ladies)

The original was used in the movie Reservoir Dogs. Tom Jones' version comes from his Reload album, which contains some brilliant covers. (Including a cover of Iggy Pop's "Lust For Life". You haven't lived until you've heard Tom Jones say, "You know I've had it in the ear before.")

8. Bang Bang [My Baby Shot Me Down] (Original by Cher, covered by Nancy Sinatra)

There are actually quite a few covers of this Sonny Bono-penned tune. Stevie Wonder, Vanilla Fudge and even Frank Sinatra has taken a shot at this song, but Frank's daughter, Nancy, has the ultimate version. Included on the Kill Bill soundtrack.

9. Baby Got Back (Original by Sir Mix-A-Lot, covered by Richard Cheese)

Pat Boone had an album of Heavy Metal songs done in swing form, but the difference is, Richard Cheese didn't take it so seriously. (Paul Anka also had one that has some very good rock/pop songs done the Anka way.) Cheese's rendition of "Baby Got Back" is just hilarious. (His version of "Insane in the Membrane also ranks up there in my favorites.)

10. Can't Help Falling In Love (Original by Elvis Presley, covered by Bono)

I wish I could find the original version of this on YouTube, instead of "live". It comes from the Honeymoon in Vegas soundtrack and Bono sings his guts out on this song, all the while, an interview of Elvis plays quietly in the background.

11. Everybody Hurts (Original by R.E.M. covered by The Corrs)

I HATE R.E.M. If I were to list my Top Twelve Least Favorite Bands, R.E.M. would definitely make the top five. I do, however, LOVE this version of their blah song, "Everybody Hurts."

Plus the Corrs are much hotter than Michael Stipe will ever be.

12. Who Wants to Live Forever (Original by Queen, covered by Sarah Brightman)

Nobody, but nobody, can be Freddie Mercury. The way he sings this song is simply brilliant. Sarah, however, brings a different style to the song that I think Freddie would not only love, but would probably have offered to produce himself.

Things That Are Old In Movies

2008-01-07T11:21:00.000-07:00

Rappin' Grannies or Any Other Person that Isn't Very Rap-Like - In The Wedding Singer, the little old lady starts rapping to the Sugarhill Gang's "Rapper's Delight". The people in the theater were laughing like it was the funniest thing. EVER. It's one of the reasons why I haven't seen that movie a second time.
Swearin' Grannies - Along with the hip-hoppin' grannies, there's nothing that makes me want to turn off a movie faster than when some old lady drops the F-Bomb for a laugh.
Men in Drag - It wasn't funny in Some Like it Hot. It wasn't funny in Mrs. Doubtfire. And it for sure wasn't funny in Big Momma's House 1 or 2!
Eddie Murphy Playing Every Character - This kind of goes hand in hand with the previous entry. It was kind of cool to see Eddie play different characters in Coming to America. It was even mildly entertaining when he played the fat guy in The Nutty Professor. Now it's just old & tired and I wish people would stop hiring him in movies for this reason.
Breakdancing People &/or Animals - Unlike most people, I didn't like Shrek. Sure, it had it's moments, but it really wasn't that funny. And by the end, when the three little pigs are busting a move, I never wanted a movie to end so bad in my life.
Teen Angst Films - You know this type of movie: A horny virgin teenage nerd completely humiliates a jock with his cunning wit and is able to get the hot cheerleader babe in the end of the movie. Meanwhile the "plain" girl that wears glasses and keeps her hair in a bun the entire movie has had a crush on the horny nerd for years, but he was never able to see her for who she is until she takes off her glasses and takes her hair out of the bun, allowing her flowing locks to drape her shoulders. These movies were well covered in the 80s, so we don't need any more, thanks.
"Plain" Girls Portrayed as Librarians - And while we're on the topic, let's include the previously mentioned "plain" girl with the glasses and the librarian hairdo. Is anyone ever surprised when she allows her hair to fall that she's beautiful? Especially when said "plain" girl is portrayed by someone like Kate Beckinsale. (NOTE: I can't think of any movie where Kate plays that part, but most of you know that she's my movie crush, so I figured I would use her as an example.)
Men Getting Hit in the Groin - I don't know what the fascination is with directors where they have a guy get hit in the groin. Granted, I'm a guy and getting hit there is no picnic, but people don't seem to find humor in any video where a girl gets slapped in the face. What's the difference? Fortunately, this mostly happens in kid live-action movies, and I don't watch very many of those.
Burps & Farts - When I was in Scouts, there was nothing funnier than one of the kids ripping a loud one in the tent at 12:30 am. We'd all crawl deep inside our sleeping bags to save us from the stench and to cover up our laughter from the leaders. I'm 35 now. When I see a movie where a guy farts, it's just not funny. Ditto burps.
Underdog Movies - I know that we all love the underdog: Movies where the "homely" girl gets Prince Charming; or a movie where a team of misfit hockey players lasso their way to the championship; or a movie where a baseball team with a pitcher that has a crazy haircut and causes you to have the song "Wild Thing" stuck in your head for days goes against the odds and wins. That's fine, but enough of them already.
Using "Wild Thing", "Bad to the Bone" or "Born to be Wild" In the Movie or Trailer - Yes, this was inspired by the previous entry. And to be fair, I didn't mind it all that much in Major League. But the whole "zooming up the body to a ten-year-old kid wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses while George Thorogood is playing," is just plain overdone.
Unnecessary Sequels - There are some people that hate all sequels. I'm not one of those people, but I do think that some movies - good or bad - shouldn't have a sequel. For instance, Baby Geniuses didn't need a sequel. At the same time, neither did Psycho, The Exorcist or The Terminator. (NOTE: I loved T2, but it wasn't really necessary.) If the sequel doesn't tell another story, instead of just another rehashing of the original, there's no point to make it. (See also Pirates of the Caribbean 2 & 3, The Matrix 2 & 3, Grease 2, Superman 3 &4, The Next Karate Kid, The Sting II, Nightmare On Elm Street 2-686.)

Worst Christmas Songs

2007-12-14T09:57:00.001-07:00

NOTE: This isn't a list of singers I hate. In fact, some of the artists here I usually like. I just hate their renditions of Christmas songs. In the case of Barba Streisand, I hate anything that comes out of that woman's mouth.

Joy to the World - Neil Diamond
Wonderful Christmas Time - Paul McCartney
Merry Christmas Baby - Bruce Springsteen
Happy Christmas - John Lennon
Deck the Halls - Mannheim Steamroller
The Christmas Shoes - NewSong
Grown-Up Christmas List - Anyone who sings it
Last Christmas - Wham!
Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow! - Gloria Estefan
It Must Have Been the Mistletoe - Barbra Streisand
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Michael Bolton
Where Are You Christmas - Faith Hill (I included this on the Tayster Christmas CD the year it came out because I didn't mind it then. After playing it twenty times a day on a Top 40 radio station that same year, I'm officially over this song.)

Best Christmas Songs

2007-12-14T09:49:00.000-07:00

White Christmas - Bing Crosby
The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting...) - Nat King Cole
Blue Christmas - Elvis Presley
Little Saint Nick - The Muppets
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Barenaked Ladies & Sarah McLachlan
When My Heart Finds Christmas - Harry Connick, Jr.
Cool Yule - Louis Armstrong
Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - U2
Still, Still, Still - Mormon Tabernacle Choir
Christmas Eve Sarajevo - Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Oiche Chiun (Silent Night) - Enya
12 Pains of Christmas - Bob Rivers

NOTE: This is probably the most difficult list I have ever made. I love so many Christmas songs, so I'm sure I'll miss one or twenty.

Scary Movies

2007-10-25T07:36:00.000-06:00

Since Halloween is coming, I figured I would post the twelve scariest movies I have ever seen. Some of these I haven't seen for a few years, but I'm basing it on the feelings I had the first time I saw the movie.

(In Order Of When They Come To My Mind)

1. Arachnophobia (1990) - Scariest. Movie. Ever. I'm not even kidding. I was 21 when I finally saw this film. I was dating my wife at the time and she talked me into renting it. There I was, sitting in my basement with the lights off, squeezing the hand of the woman that I was going to marry. She kept glancing at me to see if I was still breathing and then she would laugh at the fear that was on my face.

"You're so white!" she would say between giggles. "And could you let go of my hand, please? You're going to break it."

I haven't seen that movie a second time, nor will I.

2. The Shining (1980) - I was eight at the time. We had this thing called "Channel One" which was the predecessor of cable and satellite TV. My parents went out for dinner and a movie. My brothers and sister decided to watch The Shining. Since I was the youngest and had the choice of either going to bed or watching it with them, I chose the latter.

Jack Nicholson scared the crap out of me. In fact, a few years later I saw a movie trailer with Jack in it and I recognized him as the guy from The Shining. I knew nothing of the movie at the time, but I figured even with a name like Terms of Endearment, Jack played an axe-wielding psycho.

3. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) - Before Freddy Krueger became a parody of himself, he was actually quite creepy. I saw this at a Halloween party when I was twelve or thirteen. There were quite a few girls at the party, so I sat next to one of them. The way I saw it, if she got scared, she was going to have to hold onto me for protection.

Well, I don't remember the exact part of this movie, but something made me jump - spilling Dr. Pepper all over my lap - and forcing out a yelp that caused the rest of the party to laugh uncontrollably. They even pushed pause on the VCR while they all laughed at my soaked pants.

I swear it was Dr. Pepper!

4. The Exorcist (1973) - We saw this as a family at the drive-in when I was seven. It was a Double Feature with The Amityville Horror (1979). We loaded up our Suburban and we drove out and waited for it to turn dark. The Amityville Horror was first. Parts of it frightened me, but it really wasn't that bad.

And then The Exorcist began. My parents were hoping that I was asleep by the time this movie started and I obliged them by pretending at first, but by the time Regan was possessed, I couldn't pretend any more.

It didn't help that my brother, Martin, told me the next day that it was actually a documentary and that everything I saw was real and that the devil takes over bodies when they are in bed.

Like I could sleep after that.

5. Blair Witch Project (1999) - I saw this on opening night with my friend, Trav. The midnight showing was sold out, so we bought tickets to the 2:00 am show. It was at this little rundown independent theater in Salt Lake.

We were the only people there not dressed in black.

The only thing I knew about this movie before standing in line was what it said on the trailer. It wasn't until one of the emo chicks in line said something about it being "fake" that I even knew that it wasn't a documentary.

I'm glad I saw this movie before all the hype because I was seriously freaked out by what wasn't seen. I would've done so much better if they showed some fake witch or something. Instead, all you hear are noises in the night and what not, all the while, I was surrounded by a bunch of goths.

Fortunately, I was doing a morning radio show at the time, so when the movie ended, I was able to go straight to work instead of going to bed.

6. Halloween (1978) - Overall, I think the Halloween series of movies are the best of the the slasher genre. With the exception of Part III, which had NOTHING to do with the first two movies, each of the Halloween films had a redeeming point. Maybe just one in some cases, but the last few Elm Streets & Friday the 13ths were just plain stupid.

I think the thing that made Michael Myers scarier than his wisecracking contemporary, Freddy, was his silence.

Quick story. Halloween IV & V were both filmed here in Utah. One night I was driving in downtown SLC and I saw a bunch of lights and cameras set up in a local park. I drove up to see what was going on and who should I see but Michael Myers.

Just standing there.

Bigger than life.

Even though I knew it was a movie set, the sight of Michael freaked me out.

7. Pet Semetary (1989) - There's nothing creepy about a cat coming back from the dead. There is, however, something very creepy about a kid coming back from the dead and killing his loved ones. This is probably one of the best book-to-movie adaptations from Stephen King's horror library. (Key word is "horror". Shawshank, Green Mile and Stand by Me are some of the best adapted, but they are not horror.)

8. Nosferatu (1922) - I don't know what it is with silent bad guys - see Halloween above - but they creep me out more than their talking counterparts. Nosferatu is one of the best vampire movies out there. Max Schrek's Orlok looks nothing like Bela Lugosi's Dracula that is synonymous with "vampire". Orlok is much freakier, with the long fingers and the pointed ears.

The first time I saw this movie - coincidentally with my brother, Martin - I had nightmares for weeks.

In fact, at least once a month or so, I have a recurring nightmare where I'm hiding with my oldest daughter in a basement from one of my childhood friends and Nosferatu is coming down the hall looking for us.

Funny how the mind works.

9. Jurassic Park (1993) - I know that this movie seems out of place on a list filled with vampires, slashers and living dead, but the simple fact of the matter is, this movie scared me soooooo bad. I had just returned from a mission in Chile. I had never heard of this book and this was before the internet was what it is today, so I didn't know anything of the story. All I knew was that it was about dinosaurs.

I expected to go see a movie filled with claymation dinosaurs - although I knew that they would be better quality claymation than dinosaur movies of the past.

What I saw instead was a movie with real dinosaurs!

The first time T-Rex came out and roared, I thought I was going to wet myself.

10. Alien (1979) - I'm starting to see a trend here. This is a movie that my brother, Martin, had me watch with him when it was on Channel One. I figured, "How scary could it be? E.T. was an alien and he turned out nice."

Holy schnikes! Was I ever wrong.

A few days after watching this movie, Martin played a trick on me while we were eating breakfast. He had slipped his left arm into his shirt and while he was eating his Froot Loops, he punched his shirt at chest level so it'd look like an alien was going to bust out of his chest.

Now do you wonder why I turned out like I did?

HONORABLE MENTIONS
Scream (1996) - I went to see this one opening night with my friend, Trav. We are both movie junkies - and I especially love a good horror film - so we were excited to see it.

I loved that they made reference to other horror films and mocked the way horror films follow a certain formula.

Overall, this movie wasn't really scary, but the opening sequence starring Drew Barrymore was, in my opinion, one of the greatest openings of any movie. (Right up there with Raiders of the Lost Ark.)

Most horror movies make you sit through 45 minutes of dialogue and back story before they decide to kill someone. And even then, it usually someone that is not a "household name" like Drew Barrymore.

Night of the Living Dead (1968) - Guess who I watched this movie with? Yep, Martin.

When I watch this movie today, it doesn't really scare me. But the first time I saw this film, I had zombies on my mind for weeks. This was the movie that made me fascinated with zombies and which led me to watching other zombie films like Evil Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Shaun of the Dead and Dead Alive.

Invented Bands

2007-10-16T12:53:00.000-06:00

This is a tough list to make. Let me rephrase that. This is a tough list to name. Basically they are bands that were invented - or created - for a TV show or movie. (And, in one instance, a comic strip.)

A few of these did go on to become real bands, in the sense that they had albums and concerts and such.

I know it doesn't make sense, but you'll see what I mean.

NOTE: I have excluded The Monkees from this list because they actually became a real group with real albums and real fans.

That and I really don't like the Monkees.

1. Spinal Tap

This is the one that everyone else strives to be. The self-proclaimed "Loudest Band in the World" is a band that was created for a 1984 movie called This Is Spinal Tap. Since then, they have released some CDs, done some touring and even appeared on "The Simpsons".

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2. The Commitments

Some may argue the placement of this band on this list, but the simple fact of the matter is, they were a band invented by an author (Roddy Doyle) and then later put together for a movie directed by Alan Parker. That doesn't change the fact that they are the greatest soul band to come out of Ireland. ("All the great sixties bands were 'The Somethings'.") You can't listen to Deco Cuffe (Andrew Strong) and not be moved emotionally by the power of his voice. (It's hard to believe that he was only 16 when this movie was made, according to the DVD sleeve.)

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3. The Wonders (One-Ders)
So many people love Tom Hanks for Forrest Gump or Philadelphia, yet I rarely hear people give credit to Tom for this movie and more importantly, this group. Tom wrote & directed That Thing You Do!, a story about a Beatles-esque band that made it big. This was a tough one to include because while the actors did actually spend time practicing instruments and singing, a lot of it came from other musicians. The main reason I decided to include them is because the title track is so catchy.

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4. Soggy Bottom Boys

This fits in the same category as The Wonders. George Clooney didn't really sing the songs that were associated with the Soggy Bottom Boys. (That credit goes to Union Station's Dan Tyminski.) Still, the overall excitement of the crowd at their performance during the governor's speech is worthy of mentioning.

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5. The Be Sharps

This band was formed in the city of Springfield. The members of this band include Homer Simpson, Barney Gumble, Seymour Skinner and Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. (Chief Wiggum was almost a part of it, but he was too "Village People".)

For me, the most amazing part of The Be Sharps is the fact that the song is being sung in character and yet the harmony is incredible.

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6. Mitch & Mickey

The movie A Mighty Wind has some great faux bands in it, but the songs performed by Mitch (Eugene Levy) & Mickey (Catherine O'Hara) stand out from the rest. When they performed this at the Oscars, I about cried.

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7. Deathtongue (Billy & The Boingers)

This comes from the comic strip, "Bloom County", about the time that Tipper Gore was trying to ban all "evil music". Up steps Berkeley Breathed with his fictitious band, Deathtongue, a heavy metal group featuring Bill the Cat (Singer/Lead Tongue), Opus (Rhythm Tuba) and Hodge-Podge (Drums). With such songs as "Skateboarding for Satan" and "Guillotine Your Parents", they went straight to the jugular of Tipper. Later, after being named, the band was forced to tone down their music and they changed their names to Billy and the Boingers (a reference to the 80's group, Billy Vera and the Beaters.)

Classic stuff.

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8. Crucial Taunt

From the movie Wayne's World, this band featured lead vocals of Cassandra, played by Tia Carrere. ("She's a fox. In French she would be called 'la renarde' and she would be hunted with only her cunning to protect her.") From their covers of Hendrix's "Fire", Private Life's "Touch Me" and Sweet's "Ballroom Blitz", Crucial Taunt wailed. Double live gonzo! Live at Budokan.

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9. The Rutles

Created in 1978 by Monty Python alum Eric Idle, The Rutles are a Beatles parody band that do the Beatles almost as good as The Beatles themselves. Quick story about how good these guys are. Back when the Beatles released their Anthology albums, I listened to all the "new" music as much as everyone else. At about the same time, I received a single for the Rutles "Shangri-La". I was listening to it at my house and my wife said, "I've never heard this Beatles song. I like it."

I told her it was the Rutles and she didn't believe me.

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10. Tenacious D

This comes from AllMusic:

Few people would imagine that two chunky guys bashing on acoustic guitars, singing songs like a tribute to the greatest song in the world (because they forgot how the greatest song in the world went after conquering the Devil with it) became one of the biggest cult bands of the late '90s and 2000s.

Jack Black & Kyle Gass did just that. The first time I heard Jack Black sing was on High Fidelity. After the movie, my friend, Thom, told me that I needed to check out some Tenacious D. I did and I loved them.

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11. The Blues Brothers

Joliet "Jake" Blues and his brother, Elwood, were on a mission from God.

I debated whether I should include this band, created for Saturday Night Live by John Belushi & Dan Aykroyd. The Blue Brothers, after all, sold millions of records, sold out concerts and even had their own movie. I decided even with all of that, they should be included because, well, it's my list.

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12. Dr. Teeth and Electric Mayhem

The creation of all-around genius, Jim Henson, this band was led by Dr. Teeth on piano and it featured Janice on guitar, Floyd on bass, Zoot..."sax is his axe" and the wildest drummer ever, Animal.

The current crop of "punk" bands that invade our radios don't have half the talent as this band of Muppets.

Hamburgers

2007-08-01T10:18:00.000-06:00

NOTE: This is not a list of the best hamburgers in the world. They are the best hamburgers that I have personally eaten.

(In no particular order)

The Works (Fuddruckers) - Bacon, mushrooms & American cheese on top of a third of a pound of beef - cooked to your liking - all wrapped up in the best hamburger bun ever made. Add your own toppings and you have the perfect burger from a franchise restaurant. It's a little more expensive than your typical fast food hamburger, but if I knew I was dying tomorrow, this would be my final meal, along with their fries and a nice cold Dr. Pepper.
Hamburger (Dick's Drive Inn) - Out near the booming metropolis of Kamas, Utah there's a little burger place called Dick's Drive Inn. I don't think they have a special name for their burger, we always just call it a Dick burger. (Trust me, they've heard all the jokes.) It is one of the best burgers you will ever eat. Make sure you get yourself some fries and a shake, you will not be disappointed. (And the price will not disappoint either.)
Big H (Hire's) - There's a thing here in Utah called "Fry Sauce". Basically, it's ketchup & mayonnaise mixed together, but the two things together make an awesome sauce for your fries or onion rings. Fry Sauce is the thing that sets the Big H apart from other burgers. Well, that and the bun, which is baked fresh daily. Add a nice frosty mug of Hire's Root Beer and a large order of onion rings and you have yourself a great meal, all delivered to your car from the friendly carhops.
Jalapeño Burger (Carl's Jr.) - If you like your burger to bite back, this is the burger for you. Jalapeños, pepper jack cheese, onion, tomato with a spicy Santa Fe sauce. Not eye-watering hot, but those of you with "Gringo Tongue" should avoid this. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.
Garlic Burger (Busy Bee) - I know that some people out there will argue that Cotton Bottom has a better garlic burger - and it is pretty tasty - but the Busy Bee has something that the Cotton Bottom doesn't: Texas Toast. There's something amazing about two odorous burger patties being served between two thick slices of toast. Plus, the Busy Bee has fries. You can only get chips at the Cotton Bottom and since I'm a burger & fry guy, I'll stick to the Bee.
Pepper Jack Bacon Cheeseburger (Wendy's) - I should tell you that this burger no longer exists on the Wendy's menu, but it left such a lasting impression on me that I have to include it on this list. I mean, it has bacon - which is one of the main ingredients on a lot of the burgers listed here. Then you have the finest (in my opinion) cheese in the world, pepper jack. Add to that the freshness of Wendy's burgers and you have a nice little burger that made Dave Thomas a genius in my book.
The Baconator (Wendy's) - I tried not to put more than one burger per restaurant, but since the Pepper Jack Bacon is no longer served, I figured I should give Wendy's props for their newest burger. Six strips of bacon on top of a half a pound of burger. This is the hamburger your doctor warned you about.
Blue Bacon Burger (Training Table) - Bacon and blue cheese dressing top this amazingly messy hamburger. Don't forget the order of cheese fries and dipping sauce. And lots of napkins.
Sourdough Jack (Jack in the Box) - We don't have a Jack in the Box here in Salt Lake. The closest one is in St. George, Utah. Fortunately, my parents live in St. George, so I make sure to stop at Jack every time I visit. A sourdough bun is an added bonus to an already tasty burger. Even my wife, who isn't a hamburger fan, finds this one tastier than most.
Double-Double (In-N-Out) - The nearest In-N-Out is in Las Vegas, Nevada, so I don't get to eat there as much as I would like. When I get the opportunity, however, I get myself a nice Double-Double with cheese and onions. It's probably the freshest fast food burger you're ever going to eat.
Fat Boy (Ab's Drive-In) - Ab's has been around the Salt Lake Valley since 1951 and there's a reason for that. They have quality food. The Fat Boy has two patties, cheese, fresh tomatoes, and a special relish sauce. It's made fresh. In fact, you won't even see a heat lamp in Ab's. Great shakes and hand cut fries, too.
Crown Burger (Crown Burger) - Imagine a flame-broiled hamburger covered with a huge mound of pastrami. This is the often imitated, never duplicated Crown Burger.

John Cusack Films

2007-07-02T09:27:00.000-06:00

(In Order By Release)

1. Sixteen Candles
2. Better Off Dead
3. Journey of Natty Gann
4. Stand by Me
5. Say Anything
6. Grosse Pointe Blank
7. Con Air
8. Being John Malkovich
9. High Fidelity
10. Serendipity
11. Identity
12. Runaway Jury

Movies That Make Me Cry

2007-03-16T13:38:00.000-06:00

NOTE: I've been working on this list for a few weeks now. I've been watching these movies and making sure that they do, in fact, make me cry.

Meanwhile, Entertainment Weekly and MSN have posted similar lists.

It's like we all received inspiration to let our feelings be heard at the same time.

1) My Life - This has nothing to do with my man crush on Michael Keaton. The scene where he's talking to his sleeping son gets me every time.

2) Braveheart - Sure, the line "FREEDOM!" gets me, but the part that just causes the tears to flow for me is when Murron is about to be killed and she is looking over the land, trying to see William come save her.

3) Field of Dreams - "Hey dad. You wanna have a catch?" Any man that can hear those words and not cry like a baby has no soul.

4) Dead Poet's Society - I had a few teachers that truly inspired me. This movie reminds me of those teachers and how I would've stuck my neck out for them. "Oh Captain, my Captain."

5) Lion King - Sure, Bambi lost his mother and Dumbo was teased, but nothing causes a lump in my throat more than when Mufasa dies and little Simba finds him lying there.

6) Big Fish - My grandpa was the real Ed Bloom. No, Tim Burton didn't base the character on my grandpa, but he might as well had. My grandpa died when I was five, but I still remember his stories, most of which were not true.

7) On Golden Pond - Yes, another fish movie that reminds me of my grandfather.

8) Armageddon - I know what you're thinking. "Armageddon made you cry?" Honestly, the part that gets me is when Liv Tyler yells, "That's my father up there!"

9) Passion of the Christ - When men cry in movies, most of the time they do a little "clear the throat and swipe the eyes" before the lights come up in the theater. The scene where Mary sees Jesus fall with the cross and it flashes back to his childhood, I bawl my eyes out.

10) The Green Mile - John Coffey's death is sad for many reasons, but it's the look on Tom Hanks' face that gets me.

11) Fellowship of the Ring - "I would have followed you my brother, my captain, my king!" Gets me every time.

12) Dances With Wolves - "Dances With Wolves. I am Wind In His Hair. Do you see that I am your friend? Can you see that you will always be my friend?"

Does anyone have a tissue?

HONORABLE MENTION:

Pursuit of Happyness - I haven't seen this movie, which is why I didn't include it on the actual list, but I cried during the trailer.

Animated Films

2007-02-20T07:56:00.000-07:00

I love animation. Whether it's classic animation done by hand, computer animation or even claymation, I'm amazed every time I watch it.

The following list is my favorite animation movies, which is why I have excluded such TV classics as Looney Tunes, Rocky & Bullwinkle, The Simpsons & The Animaniacs.

(In No particular order)

Lion King - While not my favorite Disney film, this is probably my favorite animation for a Disney film. From the beginning "Circle of Life" segment to the wildebeest scene that kills Mufasa, the animators of this film should be proud of their work.
The Incredibles - My favorite Pixar film and one of my all-time favorite movies. Granted, a lot of that has to do with the Superhero aspect of the film, but a huge part of it is the animation. There are times, while watching this movie, that I forget I'm watching an animated film.
Toy Story - My friend, Trav, introduced me to Pixar with some of their short films. ("Tin Toy" being one of my favorites.) When Pixar teamed up with Disney for this movie, I knew that it would be nothing short of amazing.
Toy Story 2 - It's very rare that a sequel outshines the original, but with the opening sequence of this movie, it blew the original - and every other animated film up to this point - out of the water.
The Iron Giant - Before Brad Bird joined the Pixar forces - but after his stint with The Simpsons - he made this amazing film about a boy and his robot. (The robot is played by Vin Diesel, which is probably the greatest acting he will ever do.)
Secret of NIMH - Don Bluth worked as an animator for Disney, working on such classics as Sleeping Beauty, Robin Hood, The Rescuers and Pete's Dragon. (He also animated some sequences for the Olivia Newton-John film, Xanadu.) His first major film after leaving Disney was this movie based on the Robert C. O'Brien novel. The animation is stunning, as would be expected from a former Disney worker. Bluth would later go on to do An American Tail, Land Before Time and All Dogs Go to Heaven, but this movie is my favorite of his work.
Beauty & the Beast - If I were to list Disney films by the amount of times I could watch them, this movie would be down the list. That's not to say that I don't enjoy it, but there are plenty other Disney films that I would rather watch. This movie, however, has the best classic animation of any of the Disney films - with the exception of The Lion King. If only the animators would've spent a little more time on the post-Beast prince. He's truly hideous.
The Little Mermaid - This is my all-time favorite Disney film. The thing that amazes me about this film - besides the music - is the fact that the screen is continually moving in the underwater scenes. I mean, in a lot of animation, they use a background that continues to be a background shot after shot. In The Little Mermaid, the background is always moving with the water and fish and other sea creatures go past on a regular basis. It's always moving. Amazing.
Wallace & Gromit in Wrong Trousers - I debated whether I should include this movie here. It's technically a short film, clocking in at around thirty minutes. In those thirty minutes, however, is probably some of the most amazing stop-motion clay work ever done. Just watch the train scene to see what I'm talking about.
Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas - Of course I would include this movie on this list. Tim Burton is, in my opinion, one of the most underrated directors of our time. So many people decided not to see this film because of Tim Burton's association with it. Even after telling people that he didn't direct the film, but only created the characters, that still didn't get some of them out to see it. As an animated film, this is simply amazing.
To watch the opening "This is Halloween" sequence and realize the amount of work that was put into making it, you can't help but have a little respect for all those involved.
Tim Burton's Corpse Bride - Whether you liked the movie or not is not the point. The animation here is amazing. The Burton animation camp came a long way from Nightmare Before Christmas.
Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs - I really should've put this first on the list because without this movie, the rest of these probably wouldn't be here. It's amazing to watch this movie and think, "This movie came out in 1937." The animation holds up better than most that were released in the 1980's.

Things I Hate During Elections

2006-11-03T07:27:00.000-07:00

"Time for a change" - A lot of politicians use this as their campaign slogan, yet in six years when they are up for re-election, it won't be time for a change, according to them.
"For the children" - This is a cop out, usually used by Democrats, to inform us that if we don't change the current elected officials, we are going to ruin our child's future.
A campaign poster with the politician sitting around in his suit, reading a book to his kids - Let's be honest. Most of the people who run for politics are busy men. A lot of them own their own companies. They don't have a lot of time to sit around and read 'Yertle the Turtle' to their five-year-old.
A commercial for a politician with his sleeves rolled up, talking to men in hard hats - This one is used by both parties, although I think Republicans use it more to say, "Hey, even though I was born with a golden spoon, I respect people that actually work for a living."
Anyone who uses the word "Progress" in their speech - This reminds me of a joke my dad told me. If the opposite of "Pro" is "Con", than the opposite of "Progress" is "Congress".
A political ad filled with names of other politicians - Excuse me, Mr. Senator, I picked up all these names you dropped in your last commercial.
Mudslinging ads - "Senator Clark Kent is a lying, pillaging rapist. And he voted against Propostion 1,209. It's time for a change." To which Senator Kent will reply: "I know you are, but what am I?" It's like we're in first grade all over again.
First-timers promising things - They don't know how the game is played in D.C. Sure, you can promise that you're going to cut my taxes, but you will be one person in an ocean full of politicians that made crazy promises.
Political ads where the guy running is talking to a bunch of mixed races and people in wheelchairs - Maybe an ad like this will work in New York or California, but here in Utah, we have two colors: white and not-as-white. When one of our politicians is tlaking to a group of mixed races on TV, it's like they held auditions for the part. "Wanted: Non-white people for a political ad. People in wheelchairs are highly encouraged to show up."
Politicans in general - I don't care what party you are in. To me, you are a suit-wearing political head that will do whatever you have to do to be re-elected.

p.s. I know there's only 10. I started this list when I was doing Top Ten lists.

Halloween-Related Songs

2006-10-06T11:41:00.000-06:00

This list does not include movie themes. That will be a different list.

Also note that I have not included anything from Oingo Boingo on this list. If I did, they would take over the top ten.

(In no particular order)

This is Halloween - Danny Elfman
Ghostbusters - Ray Parker, Jr.
Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon
Grim Grinning Ghosts - Barenaked Ladies
The Time Warp - Rocky Horror Picture Show Cast
I Put a Spell on You - Screamin' Jay Hawkins
Haunted House - Jumpin' Gene Simmons
Nightmare on My Street - DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
Monster Mash - Bobby "Boris" Pickett
Thriller - Michael Jackson
Witch Doctor - David Seville
All You Zombies - The Hooters

Movies Starring Tom Hanks

2006-10-02T14:51:00.000-06:00

(In order of release date)

Splash
Big
The 'burbs
Joe Versus the Volcano
Sleepless in Seattle
Apollo 13
Toy Story
That Thing You Do!
Saving Private Ryan
Toy Story 2
The Green Mile
Cast Away

Movie Surprises

2006-09-29T07:43:00.000-06:00

NOTE: This list contains spoilers to the following movies:

Empire Strikes Back
Sixth Sense
Unbreakable
April Fools Day
Usual Suspects
Memento
Batman Begins
A Beautiful Mind

If you haven't seen any of these movies, you may want to avoid this post. I wish the yahoo that spilled the beans of Fight Club to me before I had a chance to see it would've given me a warning like this. For this reason, I have not included Fight Club on this list.

Let the list begin... (In no real order)

1. Empire Strikes Back - I was eight-years-old. I was at the Century Theater with my family watching the second movie in the Star Wars universe. To me, this was awesome because the first movie - or the fourth movie, depending on how you look at it - didn't really set up a sequel. Sure, Darth is spinning off into space, but the rest of his cronies were blown apart. How could they possibly do a sequel?

Anyway, I was excited to be seeing it and then I heard the phrase. "I am your father." The audible gasp from the popcorn-munching audience proved that this was something different.

Still one of my favorite movies of all-time.

2. Return of the Jedi - Nobody ever talks about this. They always talk about Darth being Luke's father, but why don't they ever mention the whole Leia is his sister thing?

I mean, think about it. As shocking as it was to find out that the bad guy is the hero's dad, it was more shocking to find out that the girl the hero had a crush on since the beginning was his sister.

I mean, these guys kissed each other. Long and hard on the lips! That's more shocking than the whole Darth thing.

A lot of people had bad fathers. Not very many people have crushes on their sister.

Except in Kentucky. (To the people in Kentucky, I apologize. The way I see it, though, is if I have to deal with polygamy jokes, you need to take an inbred joke.)

3. Sixth Sense - I'm not going to lie, I was fooled by this movie as was everyone else. I know that there are some of you that will say, "I knew that Bruce was dead," and to those people I say, "Liar, liar pants on fire."

I remember sitting in a packed theater with my wife and the second Bruce's wife says, "Why did you leave me?" and I saw the ring fall to the floor, I turned to my wife and said, "You've got to be kidding me!"

She happened to be turning to say almost the same thing to me at that exact moment.

4. Unbreakable - Another M. Night film. This time I promised that he wouldn't get me. I was going to figure out the ending before it happened.

And I did.

Sort of.

When Mr. Glass invites Bruce down into his "office" I thought, "He's a bad guy." I didn't know to what lengths, but I knew he was the bad guy.

Of course, the movie revealed it two seconds later, so I'm not going to give myself credit for it.

5. Usual Suspects - This one I didn't even figure out while it was happening. I was watching Verbal walk and then like that...he's gone.

My mind told me, "Hey stupid, something just happened." Then it hit me. Darth Vader was Luke's Father!

I spent days thinking about this movie and I was amazed at how well Kevin Spacey pulled it off.

Bravo!

6. April Fools Day - This is a very underrated film from the 1980's slasher genre. Here's the basics: A girl, Muffy (or was it Buffy?) invites some friends over to an island and each of them are killed off one by one. Everyone starts to accuse each other and then the killer is revealed.

April Fools!

It was all one big sick joke. And I was sucked into it. And I loved every second of it.

Added bonus: Thomas F. Wilson, Biff from the Back to the Future films is one of the stars.

7. Memento - People remember events differently. If I was in a car accident, I would tell the police my side of the story, which to me, is the right story. The guy who hit me would tell his side of the story - which is very different than mine - and which he believes is the truth.

But which one is the truth?

Memento is a movie like that. The entire movie is seen through the eyes of Guy Pierce. He spends his life trying to find the guy who killed his wife and you start believing everything he says until you see the beginning of the story, which, is at the end of the movie.

In the end, you really believe the story that Guy is telling us, until you realize that he's just a wack job.

8. Grease - I gotta be honest, when the Greased Lightnin' started flying, I was shocked. I had no idea that was going to happen.

9. Batman Begins - When Qui Gon turned out to be Ra's Al Ghul, I have to admit I was a little shocked. I mean, when I watch the movie now, it only seems obvious that it was heading that way, but when I first saw it, I figured that Ra's was the bad guy in the beginning and then the Scarecrow would take over the rest of the show.

10. A Beautiful Mind - I'm not going to lie. I saw this movie because of Jennifer Connelly. In fact, I don't even remember the story of this movie all that well because I was so focused on Jennifer while she was on-screen and when she was not present, I kept wondering where she was.

I just remember that with everything going on in this movie and then the big revelation of his shizophrenic was presented, I thought, "That's cool. Where's Jennifer?"

That's not to say that it didn't shock me. Obviously it did, otherwise I wouldn't have included it here.

Maybe I need to watch it again and try to keep my mind open to the story and not to Jennifer Connelly.

Yeah, like that's going to happen.

TV Characters

2006-09-28T10:54:00.000-06:00

NOTE: These are based on my TV watching that has been almost non-existent since 2000. Also, cartoon characters - and Muppets - are not included on this list. They will have their own.

(In no particular order)

1. George Costanza (Seinfeld) - I know that a lot of people like Kramer, but to me, George was the best. Never before has there been a guy so slimy, yet so likeable.

2. Colonel Henry Blake (M*A*S*H) - M*A*S*H had a lot of great characters: Hawkeye, Trapper, Klinger, Frank, Radar, Hot Lips. Henry, however, was just a great character. I still tear up when I watch the episode where he dies.

3. Major Frank Burns (M*A*S*H) - I really tried to stick to one person per TV show, but I couldn't leave out Frank. As weasley and obnoxious as Frank was, you almost couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

4. Lenny & Squiggy (Laverne & Shirley) - Yes, I realize that they are two guys, but they go together as one. Like Ben & Jerry. Penn & Teller. Samson & Delilah.

5. Arthur Fonzarelli (Happy Days) - How could I not put "The Fonz" on this list?

6. Alex P. Keaton (Family Ties) - When I was younger, I wanted to grow up and vote Republican.

7. Cliff Clavin (Cheers) - We all know someone like this. A guy that has so many "facts" in his head that he can't seem to keep them in. Wait a minute. I'm a guy like that!

8. Sgt. Mick Belker (Hill Street Blues) - I know that a TV drama seems out of place in this list ruled by sitcom characters, but Belker was just fun to watch. Especially when he would bite people.

9. Mork (Mork & Mindy) - Mork first made an appearance on "Happy Days," but it wasn't until he got his own show that the world realized what Robin Williams could do with a leeway.

10. David Addison (Moonlighting) - I don't know if Bruce Willis was even acting in this role. He seemed so natural, it was as if the director just said, "Be yourself." While most of my friends at the time were copying the styles and trends of Crockett on "Miami Vice," I wanted to grow-up to become David Addison.

11. Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Carvella (WKRP in Cincinnati) - One of the reasons I wanted to be a DJ when I grew up.

12. Dan Fielding (Night Court) - The most likeable - and despicable - lawyer ever.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Ralph Furley (Three's Company)
Chandler Bing (Friends)
Wayne Campbell & Garth Algar (Saturday Night Live)
Barney Fife (Andy Griffith Show)